ChicksBeach.com

The Mayor of Chicks Beach: Beetle

The Toast of the week:

04/30/2008
Eric Clapton, Jack Bruce and Ginger Baker once sang me a song titled "I can't find my way Home"

04/27/2008
I've been around the world twice on the back of a slow moving turtle and I've never heard such a sad story.

04/23/2008
I have never met Napoleon but I plan to find the time.

04/13/2008
To women and horses...
And the men that ride them

04/02/2008
Here's to all of the women who have used me and abused me...
And may they continue to do so!

03/24/2008
A mouth of a perfectly happy man is filled with beer.

03/10/2008
The problem with some people is that when they aren’t drunk they're sober.

02/17/2008
Give a man a fish and he will eat for a day.
Teach him how to fish and he will sit in a boat and drink beer all day

02/04/2008
On the chest of a barmaid in Sale
Were tattooed the prices of ale.
And on her behind,
For the sake of the blind,
Was the same information in braille.

01/12/2008
Here's to the breezes that blow through the trees,
That blow the skirts off of young girls' knees,
Which lead to the sights that sometimes pleases,
But more often leads to social diseases.

01/04/2008
Here's to the perfect girl,
I couldn't ask for more.
She's deaf 'n dumb, oversexed,
and owns a liquor store

12/15/2007 11:16AM
Here's to the holly with its bright red berry.
Here's to Christmas, let's make it merry.

11/19/2007 7:48AM
Here's to the girl with a kiss like wine,
Here's to the girl with a form divine,
I like them both but I'll take for mine,
The girl whose boast is the dollar sign.

11/12/2007 1:52PM
Here's to King Solomon, ruler and sage, 
the wisest of men in history's page. 
He had wives by the thousand, and thought it was fun... 
Here's hoping you'll know how to handle just one.

10/18/2007 3:48PM
Here's to my mother-in-law, who still calls me a son... 
But I never let her finish the sentence.

10/07/2007 6:58PM
Here's to wives and sweethearts!
May they never, never meet.

9/15/2007 12:52PM
I feel sorry for people who don't drink.
When they wake up in the morning, that's as good as they're going to feel all day.

9/02/2007 1:04PM
24 hours in a day, 24 beers in a case. Coincidence? I think not

8/17/2007 2:56AM
Sometimes when I reflect back on all the wine I drink I feel shame. Then I look into the glass and think about the workers in the vineyards and all of their hopes and dreams .. If I didn't drink this wine, they might be out of work and their dreams would be shattered. Then I say to myself, "It is better that I drink this wine and let their dreams come true than be selfish and worry about my liver

6/28/2007 7:47AM
There's many a toast I'd like to say,
If I could only think it.
So fill your glass to anything,
And, thank the Lord, I'll drink it

6/22/2007 7:15AM
Not drunk is he who from the floor
Can rise alone, and still drink more;
But drunk is he who prostrate lies,
Without the power to drink or rise.

5/24/2007 10:36AM
Drink with impunity --
Or anyone who happens to invite you!

5/4/2007 8:03AM
When your heels strike hard and your head feels queer,
And you thoughts rise up like the froth on beer;
When your knees grow weak and your voice grows strong,
And you laugh like a fool at some silly song --
You're drunk, my boy, you're drunk.

4/24/2007 8:03AM
Here's to a guy who is never blue,
Here's to a buddy who is ever true,
Here's to a pal, no matter what the load,
Who never declines, just one for the road.

4/8/2007 10:28AM
There are many good reasons for drinking --
And one has just entered my head:
If a man doesn't drink when he's living,
How the hell can he drink when he's dead!

3/7/2007 7:17AM
Here's to a long life and a merry one,
A quick death and an easy one,
A pretty girl and a true one,
A cold bottle and another one.

2/26/2007 11:31AM
Fill to him, to the brim!
Round the table let it roll.
The divine says that wine
Cheers the body and the soul.

1/9/2007 7:54AM
May the people who dance on your grave
get cramps in their legs.

12/24/2006 9:25AM
May bad fortune follow you all your days
And never catch up with you.

12/11/2006 7:44AM
May our wine brighten the mind
and strengthen the resolution.

12/2/2006 1:13PM
Here's champagne to our real friends,
And real pain to our sham friends.

11/13/2006 7:41AM
Don't make love by the garden gate -
Love is blind -
but the neighbors ain't !

11/6/2006 8:11AM
May you live to be a hundred years,
With one extra year to repent!

10/27/2006 9:26AM
Here's to your coffin!
May your coffin have six handles of finest silver!
May your coffin be carried by six fair young maids!
And may your coffin be made of finest wood
from a 100-year-old tree,that I'll go plant tomorrow!

10/17/2006 7:40AM
Here's to cheating, stealing, fighting, and drinking.
If you cheat, may you cheat death.
If you steal, may you steal a woman's heart.
If you fight, may you fight for a brother.
And if you drink, may you drink with me.

9/26/2006 7:46AM
"When we drink, we get drunk.
When we get drunk, we fall asleep.
When we fall asleep, we commit no sin.
When we commit no sin, we go to heaven.
So, let's all get drunk, and go to heaven!

9/19/2006 7:08AM
"May your neighbors respect you, Trouble neglect you, The angels protect you, And heaven accept you."

9/13/2006 7:58AM
May the winds of fortune sail you, May you sail a gentle sea. May it always be the other guy who says, "this drink's on me."

9/7/2006 8:26AM
"Claret is the liquor for boys, port for men; but he who aspires to be a hero must drink brandy."

8/30/2006 8:37AM
"May you die in your sleep like my grandfather...Not screaming and yelling like the passengers in his car"

8/15/2006 8:09AM
“Damnation seize my soul if I Give you Quarters or take any”

7/21/2006 5:33PM
“May the smell of a thousand dirty Camel feet infest your car if you park in front of another residences driveway.”

7/14/2006 7:18PM
“Here’s to our troops bravely fighting terrorism to keep our land safer, Here’s to the working man who pulls all his shifts and doesn’t call in sick on Monday, Here’s to the single mom raising her children on a shoestring and a dime, God Bless this Country”